Doing a Shoey

June 6, 2017

I’ve personally never done a shoey but who knows now, I might do one at school drop off tomorrow.

Last night I read a story about Shannon Noll….. aka “Nollsy.”

The Aussie legend, larrikin, everyone’s best mate.

In 2004 he was caught drink driving and lost his licence on top of being fined. In 2017 it got reported he was arrested assaulting a bouncer at a strip club where an eye witness claims he was saying “let me back in I’m Shannon Noll.

Last night I read a story that he was filmed doing a shoey for a woman while looking totally off his chops.

For those of you uneducated in Shoe drinking sports, a “shoey” is where you either feed yourself or are fed your beer from a shoe.

It’s usually your shoe. Usually while shit faced, or in Nollsy’s case, you’re feeding some younger woman her shoey while allegedly pretty mangled on what most comments sections said were “pingers”.

The sentiment in the comment sections was hilarious.

“Feeding the bird a shoey while gurning.. yeah the boys Nollsy”
“Off the old chops there Shanno”
“LOL. He’s just having a good night”

Good for Nollsy, he look’s like he’s just having a good night.

I’m not even being sarcastic, why not, Nollsy? You work hard, she’s obviously given consent for said shoey, I’ve personally never done it but who knows now, I might do one at school drop off tomorrow…

I’ll tell you what does piss me off, what’s not a laughing matter, what’s more, fucking infuriating then all the shoeys in all of the world?

One small made up scenario….

Imagine the headlines if Nollsy was a woman.

“Mother of three & wife caught out feeding man a shoey only five months after being thrown out of a strip club.”

Can you imagine the comments and public perception then?

“Slut”. “I feel sorry for her children”. “She looks like she’s on drugs, she needs help”. “Someone should have her children removed”. “Her poor husband”. “She looks like shit”…

I am constantly reading comments about myself that say, “I liked her until I saw how selfish she was when she left her marriage… she never thinks about her children, only herself.”

I am travelling, teaching and loving them. I am always with my kids…. maybe I should be doing off chops shoeys in the middle of the night with young hotties instead???? “Shoey for Hallsy?” Anyone?

I can’t name one Aussie mum, a single lovable larrikin whose partying and bad girl ways are dismissed with a cute nickname and a bit of a hero status.

Because women should be at home with their kids.

Because….. equality?

Not one comment that I read yesterday stated that in order to be a good parent or human Nollsy should be at home taking off his 3 children’s shoes for the day, instead of out being out chanting “shoey for Shanno” while he apparently gets spotted pouring a shoe full of grog down some babes throat.

Do I have a problem with Nollsys life choices?

God no!!!!

Sure. Personally I’d be kind a pissed if I turned on the news and saw the father of my kids out all night living his best life, doing shoeys with young girls while I made the following days lunches.

But hey, it’s NOT my life. Nollsy works hard, his social life isn’t for me to judge. In fact, fuck it- after I finish this blog I’m gonna pour my wine into my boot and see if my stepdad can help me with my first. God knows what I’m missing out on.

My problem is, I know for a fact if this was a woman she would be trolled, hated on and even possibly reported and investigated for neglect.

Fathers are allowed to be like Nollsy, they are allowed to work and drink, travel, live and party..

while mothers aren’t even able to go to full-time work without being called self-centred.



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Constance Hall

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