Dear Schapelle

May 31, 2017

or can I call you Corbs?

Coz you kind of feel like someone I’ve known for over 10 years so, under any other circumstances you’d have migrated to Corbs by now.

I remember your conviction, I remember the look on your face when you were sentenced. I don’t think anyone could forget that raw look on your face as you tried to hide your fear and comfort your family.
As at 21 year old who had watched the news about 3 times in her life, I found my heart bleeding for yours.

So many things flashed through my mind for you, how will she survive 20 years? Her life is being taken away, they will eat her alive in a Bali prison, her chances of ever having as baby and a true love could be gone. But guess what, the one thing that I never wasted any time thinking was, “Did she do it?”

Why?

Coz I didn’t care. You see at 21 I had already fucked up so many times, I had been on Big Brother and been the first one evicted for generally being a massive fuck up. Thankfully so as I later found out I was pregnant to my boyfriend who I had since broken up with.

 

And then I went and got myself arrested for refusing to turn the music down in my apartment. In case you’re wondering, it was the Talking Heads. A fuck up with impeccable music taste.

So what? I was young and living and I was paying the consequences. A tough decision at an abortion clinic, a night in Jail, a few people who recognised me and laughed on the street..

But none of my fuck ups cost me 13 years in a Balinese prison. So whether you did it or not, was never my question. Because even if you did, I’d have cried the same amount of tears for you.

The amount of times I have read “She is a convicted drug smuggler, who cares!!” in the last few days is almost funny.

Especially considering they are the ones who care the most, the ones who keep the engagement so high on these stories that they’ll just keep coming thick and fast.

My family was involved in smuggling heroin into Australia in the 80s, my favourite uncle did his time in Fremantle prison. Had he have been caught in Thailand instead of Australia I wouldn’t have his daughter, my best friend today.

My family is also one of those families thats been torn apart due to drug use, in fact I lost my dear departed father to Hepatitis C, a disease he contracted due to his addiction to heroin, a drug smuggler out there had to have brought that heroin into our country. Still, I have no blame or contempt.

At the end of 2005, when I was starting to calm down and you were beginning your sentence, my dad dragged me to the funeral of Van Tuong Nguyen.

I’m assuming you know who he is, he was hanged for drug trafficking in Singapore and his body was sent home to Melbourne.

My dad believed in teaching me compassion for everyone, he believed it was the only way we could save this world. We paid our respects and cried for Van, a young 25 year old man who fucked up and paid the ultimate price, rest in peace.

I later named my son Rumi, after a Persian poet who wrote the quote,

Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.

Because I have never been interested in right or wrong, my interests lie with compassion, humanity and love. Everyone’s on their own journey and that journey will individualise everyones definition of right and wrong, who are we to judge any one but ourselves.

Keyboard warriors have a long way to come in the grasping of humanity.

But what I really wanted to say to you Corbs..

Is, welcome home baby.

When you first went away you were a young relatable women, everyone was worried about you. The hot guy at my local cafe told me he wanted to organise a break out for you, my friends and I used to sit around talking about all the people we would swap with Indonesia for you, mainly my bestie’s ex..

You were loved and worried about, now that you’re free and the media is on your back and you have like a gazillion Instagram followers and you’re looking hot and have some sexy piece of arse back in Bali, our country has condemned you a tall poppy and they are gonna stop at nothing to tear you down.

This I can relate to, in fact yesterday an article was written about me and the first comment was ‘a slow news day? If its not Corby its bloody Constance.’

High five to that prick Corbs.

What I find hilarious is that people actually think that a women who has survived 13 years in a Balinese prison could actually give two fucks about the dumb comments coming from rude trolls.

I think that you’re interesting and I think you’re strong.

And I am bloody happy to have you home.

Welcome back, Corbs.

Love Con xxxxx


Get Constance Hall’s Amazon category #1 bestseller book, Like A Queen, on Amazon Kindle from Wednesday May 31st by clicking here.

Constance Hall

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